my insides ache, I can’t stop the tears from falling.I miss him so much, I can’t handle this. I need to know that we belong with one another, I can’t bear thinking about him with somebody else in the future, I can’t bear the fact that we aren’t talking much, it’s impossible, after 5 years of speaking every.single.day, to the occasional message. I can’t do it.
it’s unbearable. I’m heart broken. I can’t talk to you about how i feel because i know it’ll hurt you, and I can’t have that, it would defeat the whole purpose of us breaking up. I want to fly to you, to run into your embrace, and kiss you all over, I want to tell you that i love you and that i’ll do anything for this to work. but I can’t. because thats not reality. we have to move on. but it’s impossible to do something you don’t want to do. isn’t it?
I lay in bed every night and cry myself to sleep,cuddling my Logan bear that you gave me our first valentines together, imaging you stroking my chest like you always have until I quiet and fall softly to sleep, I imagine my head on your chest, listening to your heartbeat, my favourite sound. I imagine lying on your lap, studying your face like I always did, wanting more than anything to remember every little feature of your beautiful face; your freckle just below your left eye, the thickness of your eyes, your little beautiful nose, the sharpness of your jaw and chin, your pouty round mouth and those eyes, eyes that will always best know how to read me, to look inside of me and make me feel understood.
I miss you and I can’t bear this.
please somebody help me. I can’t do this </3